Mentoring for Success
Get my tips and tricks to successful mentoring gained over 30 years of working with Mentees from around the world. No time to get started? Watch my 1-minute video and download the workbook to get started! Also, I share my 2023 interactive version the Mentoring Workbook which you can download for free. See a detailed review of how to use the guide here.
Define your goals
If you don't know what you want, it's unlikely you'll be able to get it. This is true of everything, especially in areas like coaching and mentoring. Success is often based on clarity about what you bring to the situation and what you hope to get from Mentorship. Finding the right Mentor or Mentee and knowing how you want to proceed is very much related to this first step of understanding your goal. It's also important to know whether you need one or more Mentors. Perhaps you have several goals that need addressing; one person may not do it for you. By knowing that you have multiple goals, you'll be able to figure out the right kind of Mentor and the order to engage with each of them.
Finding the right Mentor or Mentee
Finding the right Mentor might be easier than you think. At the end of the day, it's simply about approaching someone and asking for them to mentor you. Where will you find these people?
At Work: Generally, don't ask your manager, but someone who might work adjacent to your manager or is in another department. If you do that, you might want to let your manager know, so there's no misunderstanding about your intentions.
Online: You can also look for a mentor on LinkedIn, searching for someone you find aspirational or related to your long-term goals. Start by connecting with them, sharing some information they may value, or responding to a comment or post they make. After a bit of a relationship has been created, then ask for mentoring assistance. Be clear about what you're asking for regarding time and outcomes. You may ask for a kind of 'speed mentoring,' a short-term conversation focused on asking for specific advice about a particular topic.
Professional Groups: Another place to find the right kind of Mentorship is by joining a professional organization. If you're interested in project management, join PMI, IPMA, or a similar group. Google the topic to find the right organization. Then check their website and see if they have mentoring programs that would fit your goals. Consider joining meetings to network or volunteer with the organization to meet the kinds of people that you would like to have Mentor you.
Build rapport
Make sure that your Mentee or Mentor gets value from your work together. To do that, you need to build rapport. This means you need to understand not only each other's point of view, including both parties' current state, goals, and areas for growth. But remember, it really helps if you also get along, respect, and like each other. Having open and honest conversations means you value the input given and received.
Before someone agrees to invest time and energy in a relationship, there must be a reason why. A sense that this is good for both individuals. If you ask a mentor to spend time understanding your goals and giving you those 'pearls of wisdom' which may have taken years to learn and develop, you must provide a compelling value for their time. This may be a sense of 'giving back' or a chance for 'value added information exchanges' - but it should be mutually beneficial.
It is also important to be honest. Sometimes the most important feedback we can get is the feedback that is difficult for the Mentee or Mentor to get or give. A good rapport will enable honest conversations on both sides so that the Mentorship creates a valued relationship for the long term and provides the kind of growth both benefit from. So remember to be honest and kind. How you say something is as important as what you say.
Be sure to also add value to your mentoring relationship by bringing content to the table. If you know your Mentor or Mentee is interested in a topic, be on the lookout for relevant content you can share with them. If you have ideas, insights, or ways of working to help them reach their goal, share that, too. The more practical, relevant, and concrete the information, the better. Showing you take time to do this will also build rapport and a long-term relationship you can both value.
Use a process
The process found in my Mentorship Workbook is a proven tool to help you and your mentoring partner reach a successful outcome to your work together. Let me take you through some of the highlights, for in-depth information you can check out this article.
Mentorship is a relationship. So start by introducing yourself. Be open about where you are and what you want to achieve. Both the Mentor and the Mentee should do complete this part of the guide before their first meeting.
Set joint expectations about confidentially and way of working are cornerstone to building the trust needed to work together. Also, take time to merge the goals you each documented in your personal pages into a goal based action plan that meets a goal for each of you (or maybe a join goal). This keeps ‘skin-in-the-game’ for all.
Once you have agreed to conceptual goals, get specific. Make a detailed plan for each person. How with the Mentorship help? Will you use your meetings to work the issues, create accountability, be a cheerleader, or provide specific input. Whatever you decide, make that the points to discuss in your meetings, use the planner to document your discussion and the progress you are each making.
Mentorships are relationships with a purpose. When you feel you have reached that goal, you can create a new one or move on to other Mentorships. But before you do either of those two things, take a learning moment to reflect and document your work together. Also remember to thank the other person for taking the journey with you.
As a mentor for over 30 years, I found that a process helps the mentoring be more successful by not re-creating the wheel every time a new mentorship starts. I have learned from many mentorship training sessions what works and what people like to document as they get to know each other and build a plan for the Mentorship.
I also have practical tips and tricks to ensure that both parties clearly understand how and when mentoring meetings will occur, who is responsible for tasks, and how the information will be shared.
This Workbook will give you the shortcuts to starting your process so that you don't have to think about the process but allow you to get right to the good stuff. This year I've updated my form to be an interactive process that allows you to update the form in real time. You can download my 2023 version of the form here. If you want more information on using this form, check out my video or blog for more details.
Evaluate the outcomes
The outcome of mentoring is important. To show long term growth for both parties, you want to:
Start with an intention and goal
Make a plan to execute the goal
Work on individual or joint goals together
Report back on your status to ensure accountability to outcomes
and celebrate your accomplishments
This gives your Mentorship something specific to work toward as you learn skills and address issues along the way.
There are other ways ot manage Mentorship, but I find that the most rewarding are the Mentorships that create goals and a roadmap,
So start your Mentorship with a sense of intention at the beginning. Follow-through on agreed actions. Assess your roadmap and adjust as needed to reach your goal—document lessons learned in the Mentorship and as individuals. Doing this will help you be more effective and efficient during the mentoring conversations, but more than that, it will show you value the time provided throughout the process and, most importantly, that positive change was realized.
Did you see anything I missed? What are the most important activities related to mentoring, and what do you focus on when looking for a new mentor or mentee? Please leave a note in the comments below it. I'd love to hear your input.
There's so much more to say about mentoring. I've got a variety of articles on the topic, and you can find them all here at https://projectskillsmentor.com/mentoring.