The Gift of Giving Back: What Mentoring Has Taught Me (And Why I Keep Doing It)
Discover the unexpected personal and professional rewards of mentoring others. Learn what mentees taught me, why mentoring matters and practical tips to make the most of it.
"Thank you for being my lighthouse."
"I got my raise—thank you!"
"You inspired me to become a speaker—something I never imagined."
My Mentoring Happy Dance
I have been mentoring for a very long time. I started before I even knew what mentoring was. It was one of my staff who wrote an amazing note about how my mentoring helped him (years after we worked on the same project) that I realized the power of mentoring and decided to embrace it as part of my giving back goals. Over the years, the little successes have added up to moments when I've done my mentoring happy dance. That moment when you feel - Yes, I have made a difference!
Every time I read one of these messages, I'm reminded of why I started Project Skills Mentor. What began as an effort to help others navigate the often messy middle of their professional journeys has become a defining part of my own growth. These heartfelt notes? They're more than gratitude—they're reminders that giving back through mentoring is valuable not only for mentees but also for the mentors themselves. It transforms the Mentor, too.
Mentors found that mentoring enhanced the meaningfulness of their work.
What I've Learned From Mentoring
Over the years, I've had the privilege of mentoring individuals through job changes, confidence crises, promotions, and public speaking anxiety. While every mentee is unique, a few truths keep surfacing:
Empathy Is a Skill, Not Just a Feeling
One mentee shared that our sessions created "a judgment-free zone," which allowed them to show up as their full, unpolished self. That wasn't an accident. It's something I practiced—and yes, fumbled—over time. Learning to truly listen without leaping to advice mode? Game-changer.
Pro tip: Pause before offering solutions. Ask: "What does success look like for you?"
Clarity Is a Confidence Booster
Helping someone reframe their CV might sound mundane. But to them, it's career CPR. When mentees feel stuck, it's not always due to a lack of talent. It's often a lack of perspective. By guiding them to see their value more clearly, I've sharpened my communication skills and deepened my empathy.
Tip for mentors: Check before offering advice. Perhaps they know the answer; they just want to discuss it. If you do give advice, frame your answer (you don’t always have the answer, just suggestions). Try: "This could be even stronger if you added…"
The Best Mentors Cheer Loudly and Quietly
Whether celebrating a well-deserved raise or simply showing up when someone's had a tough week, I've learned the power of presence over performance. One mentee called me a "cheerleader and grounding force"—two roles I didn't know came with the mentoring badge but now wear proudly.
Lesson: You don't have to fix someone's problem. Their steady support matters as much.
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
One of the most beautiful things about mentoring is that it doesn't end with you.
According to a Gartner study, a whopping 89% of people who've been mentored say they plan to pay it forward by becoming mentors themselves. That's not just a feel-good stat—it's a ripple effect of growth, confidence, and leadership being passed along, one conversation at a time.
It means that when you mentor someone, you're not just helping them—you're setting off a chain reaction. You're creating future mentors who will carry the torch and light the way for others. You're building a community of support-minded professionals who value empathy, growth, and lifting others as they advance.
This is the secret legacy of mentoring: it multiplies.
I've seen it firsthand. Some of the people I mentored five years ago are now running mentoring programs, coaching junior colleagues, or speaking at conferences—something they once feared more than a Monday morning team call.
When you invest time in someone, you're not just changing their story—you might change the culture of an entire organization or industry.
Pro Tip: If you're mentoring someone now, plant the seed. Ask them, "Who might you mentor someday?" You'll be surprised how quickly they go from mentee to mentor-in-the-making
You Grow Too
Here's the secret nobody tells you: mentoring makes you sharper, more emotionally intelligent, and, yes—more fulfilled. I've gained just as much clarity about my leadership and purpose as my mentees have about their careers.
I've also gained unexpected wins:
Becoming more patient (a miracle).
Getting better at giving feedback (with fewer disclaimers).
Laughing at my outdated advice (hello, resume fonts from 2006).
Practical Tips for New Mentors
If you're thinking about mentoring or just getting started, here are three things that made all the difference in my journey:
Set a rhythm, not a rulebook. A mentoring relationship thrives on consistency, not rigidity. A 30-minute monthly chat can do wonders.
Ask more than you answer. Guide your mentees to their insights. Socratic wisdom works better than lecturing.
Celebrate the small wins. Whether it's speaking up in a meeting or hitting send on a CV, every step counts.
(And yes, feel free to do a happy dance off-camera.).
Why I'll Keep Mentoring
Nothing compares to that moment when a mentee lights up with belief in themselves because the ripple effect is real—today's mentee becomes tomorrow's leader, speaker, coach, or change-maker.
And frankly? Because I still learn something new every single time.
But Mentor beware, mentoring is 'work' too. While you may be paid, you choose to help without charge. But either way, you can burn out on the process and the time commitment. Maintain your mentoring health and prevent burnout by reading this article next.
Want to Start Your Mentoring Journey?
You don't need a fancy title to be a mentor. You need to care, commit, and show up. If you want guidance on how to build trust, navigate mentoring conversations, or set mentoring goals, check out some of my favorite resources on ProjectSkillsMentor.com:
How to Ask for a Promotion or Raise
The Power of Reverse Mentoring
Ways to Visualize Your Success
As mentors, we often step in thinking we're here to help someone else find their footing. But somewhere along the way, we find ourselves more grounded, more inspired, and more connected as well.
So, to all my past, present, and future mentees, thank you. You've helped me become a better version of myself. And reminded me why giving back is the most powerful move forward.
Are you inspired to start your Mentoring journey? Please take a look at my Get Started Mentoring video, which includes a review of my free downloadable workbook. If I were to sell it, it would be a bestseller. Already a mentor or mentee? For more information and inspiration, visit my channel
